I’ve worked the last 12 days straight. Exhausted doesn’t even begin to explain what i’m feeling right now.
BUT, I just got off work. it’s 76 degrees outside. For the first time in 5 years, my husband is playing hooky and is home before me, playing tiger woods on wii and drinking beer with a buddy.
He’s made me promise that i’ll be on mandatory bed rest all day tomorrow.
But tonight, tonight we’ve planned a fun little date night.
We’re heading to the Chadds Ford Historical Society for their annual GREAT PUMPKIN CARVE where 70 artists will compete in a pumpkin carving contest and be judged on their hauntingly carved masterpieces.
Afterwards, the handsome one is taking me out for a romantic dinner. We’ve been acting like squirrels lately, saving money for the baby, so we deserve this little treat to ourselves. My exhaustion has now turned into excitement. Gotta run now, I’m about to head upstairs to get all gussied up for my hot date tonight… Fun pumpkin pictures to follow!!!
OMG! that is too funny! you warned us that you didn't want to go.. this is proof!
i went to prenantal yoga tonight too. i was actually going to write up a little review and nag you about going, but since you went, i'm going to celebrate the fact that we're both trying so hard to stay in shape by indulging in a vanilla ice cream, homemade brownie w/walnuts, and hot fudge sundae. (wanna know a little secret about me? i don't even LIKE chocolate) i'll let you nag me instead, and i may just write a review about how good it was (the sundae, not the yoga).
Me:How many weeks along are you?
Me:Oh my god, but you're huge! [Pause] I meant pregnant-huge, not fat-huge.
As soon as I got off work tonight, I sat in my car and cried.
Bawled, actually. For like, 10 minutes.
And not just because I’m pregnant.
Most of the time, being a nurse is incredibly rewarding. Like when I help deliver a baby. Or assist with an organ transplant.
Nothing will ever top the day I held a beating heart in my hands in the operating room.
But days like today make it hard to be a nurse. Really hard.
Sad things happened today.
I’ve been a caregiver ever since I was a kid. I used to help my mom with the infants/toddlers she’d take care of in our home in order to be with my brother and I after school. I started my own baby-sitters club at the ripe old age of 10. I’ve taken care of physically and mentally challenged children of all ages. I was a nanny for an uncountable amount of families throughout my 20’s. I’ve got nursing experience in geriatrics, pediatrics, med surg, mental health, OB, maternity, community health.
Days like today make me realize that it’s never going to get easier. And in a really weird way, I don’t want it to. Because the day it starts to get easier- the day I feel the pain and emotion a little less- is the day I become the nurse I swore I would never be. That’s the day I become one of them.
One of them refers to the nurses that tell me I’m too emotionally involved. One of them refers to the nurses that are capable of de-sensitizing themselves from the work we do and look at it as just a job. One of them refers to the nurses that leave what happened at work at work at the end of the day. One of them refers to the nurses that don’t cry when they get into their car after a emotionally draining shift on the floor.
My patients aren’t just patients. They are someone’s mother. Someone’s child. Someone’s grandparent or god parent or mentor or hero. I always keep that in mind when giving care to others.
I’ve been told numerous times that I care too much. That’s so silly to me though. How can anyone care too much????
I’d much rather be someone that cares too much than someone that doesn’t care enough.
And so, in saying that, I’m ok with the fact that as soon as I got off work tonight, I sat in my car and cried.